


Pull Start

by OverexcitedDragon



Category: Chainsaw Man (Manga)
Genre: Chapter 73 SPOILERS, Extremely Dubious Consent, Homophobic Language, Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Coercion, Slurs, Spit As Lube, he has two arms here because i fORGOT, i mean its chainsaw man lmao there's no happy ending, with a happy ending i guess??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29293722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverexcitedDragon/pseuds/OverexcitedDragon
Summary: Aki doesn't know what love is, but that's not going to stop him from indulging in the scraps of it.
Relationships: Denji/Hayakawa Aki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	Pull Start

**Author's Note:**

> I FORGOT HE ONLY HAS AN ARM BY THIS POINT PLS IGNORE IT I WAS IN A HAZE AND IT WAS LIKE 1AM

Aki watched the toilet flush, taking with it the contents of yet another dinner that was most definitely a poisoning attempt—by Power, most likely, but Denji was no angel either.

He looked at himself in the mirror, gaze trained on the heavy bags under his eyes. Purpling, bulging, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t been sleeping, either. Aki ran the tap, splashing his pale face with cold water over and over, until he could feel his nose tightening from the chill.

 _Denji and Power will be going on the operation_ , Makima had said, with a gentle smile on her lips. Such a short little sentence, and yet it crushed his heart to bits.

And then the vision from the Future Devil, Denji slicing him and Power down as the Chainsaw Devil, as if Aki didn't already have enough to think about.

He closed the tap, but avoided the mirror.

Power was already asleep—a miracle, nowadays. She had been getting better, though, and Denji was getting better at taking care of her, too.

The kid was sitting by his futon, looking up at the ceiling with a glossed over gaze that made him look like a corpse.

“What are you doing?” Aki murmured, careful not to wake the fiend snoring on Denji’s bed.

“Thinking.”

“About what?”

“Tonight, I’m thinking about tits.”

Aki hummed, leaning softly against the doorframe as Denji went back to his brain TV. Eyes glossing over, mouth falling agape, facing the ceiling like he had nothing else to entertain himself with, nothing else to look at.

The TV, the books, the magazines were all left untouched as Denji thought about breasts and Aki thought about him.

There was a thought in the back of his head, something nagging at him about being a disgusting, broken man for looking at Denji with something far from platonic or fraternal affection, for still wanting to touch him after that vision, for knowing nothing could come of two men with a death sentence line of work. He looked at the hard lines of the kid’s shoulders, the curve of his pecs, the bulge in his pants. Watched as it twitched, as it grew.

Aki was a one track man, he had had the same objective his whole life, the same goals and dreams… until Denji and Power broke into his doorstep. Until Power reminded him of what it was like to have a sibling. Until Denji reminded him of what it was like to want to touch another man.

When had been the last time he wanted to touch someone so badly?

Was there a time at all?

Aki thought about Makima, about his endless love for her, about his death beckoning around the next corner, and at the boy’s hands at that.

His _what_ for Makima…?

Right. _Love_. Aki loved Makima. Aki was also a gay man, and Denji was attractive and shirtless, a little honeypot trap set up right in his bedroom for months now.

“Denji, come to the living room with me.”

The kid resisted with all his being from throwing a fit—can’t wake up Power, not when this was the heaviest sleep she had had in days. He stood up, sweatpants shamelessly tenting as he walked past the doorway.

Aki closed the door.

Denji sat on the couch, legs sprawled and face scrunched up.

“I’m tired, I was gunna get to sleep soon.”

“I know.”

“What do ya want?”

Aki didn’t answer, that would just scare the kid away. He pulled off his tie, undid his cuffs, folded his sleeves up. Carefully, methodically.

“What the fuck, Aki?”

“Just calm down.”

“Huh??”

“Be quiet for once, Denji.”

He walked towards the kid, ignored all the alarms blaring in his head, _stop, this is stupid, this will ruin you, what you have with him_ , and knelt between Denji’s legs.

“Do you trust me?”

Denji’s nose scrunched up in something akin to disgust, but there was a flush to his cheeks. When his knees twitched, instinctively trying to close his legs and yet making an effort not to, Aki knew he was going to get exactly what he wanted.

“Sure, I guess. You’re not the worst roommate, and you make good grub.”

The little squatting fucker. Aki chuckled.

“Yeah. Okay.”

His hands splayed over the boy’s inner thighs, and he immediately lowered his head to mouth at Denji’s bulge, sighing at the foul smell of what was most likely three days accumulated musk.

“ _What the fuck_.”

Denji swore, gasped, but didn’t push. Aki knew he wouldn’t, knew the kid was a virgin, sensitive, desperate for touch. He stuffed his mouth with the tent in his pants, moaning around the length, feeling the twitch under his lips.

“Aki, _Aki, what the fuck, what the fuck!_ ”

“Don’t yell, you don’t want Power to wake up. Be quiet for me, okay?”

Aki pulled the drawstrings, untying the loose pants to dig beneath fabric for flesh. Denji looked like he was about to have a stroke, but it didn’t matter. Not now. He pulled out the boy’s cock, thick and red with arousal, and immediately swallowed it whole. It tasted foul, smelled worse.

“Aki, _what the fuck are you doing?!_ ” Denji tried hard to sound angry, but still moaned, still folded over and grabbed at Aki’s hair, still twitched in his mouth. “Are you a fucking faggot? Are you a fucking fairy? _Christ!_ ”

The man froze, pulling out to finally take a good look at the boy’s face—and it was dizzy with pleasure and _fear_.

Aki let out a full belly laughter, doubling over and resting his head on Denji’s lap as he rocked with giggles.

“Yeah. I guess I am a faggot,” he sighed, an unfamiliar smile on his lips.

“Dad used to say fags are disgusting.”

“Not all of them. But I am. I’m pretty disgusting.”

“And that I should stay away ‘cause they’re gropers.”

“Hmm. No, but…” He looked up at the boy, lips inches away from his leaking cock. “I am. I’m sorry. But it’ll feel good, I promise.”

Denji looked furious, _repulsed_. “That’s fucking gross, you’re a dude, _get off me!_ ”

“Do you want that?”

The kid froze.

“Do you want that? Then push me away.”

Aki licked a wet stripe up his length, swirled his tongue around the leaking tip, and swallowed around Denji's girth. He started bobbing his head, jacking off what he couldn’t fit, tasting every inch of the boy’s dick, feeling it stretch the back of his throat as he moaned and swallowed around it.

“ _Fuck, fuck, Aki—_ ”

He pulled out with a loud, wet pop, still moving his hand, twisting his fist on the tip as he licked his lips and looked into the boy’s eyes.

“Go on, push me away. Fight me.”

“Aki… _Aki, Aki, stop— stop, fuck_ …”

“Push me, fight me, hurt me. If you want me to stop, you gotta make me, Denji.”

And then the kid let out a sob. Tiny, short, and soon accompanied by falling tears.

“I don’t wanna hurt you…” Denji sobbed.

Ah. _Ah_. Aki was a cursed, disgusting, broken man. Falling for this cursed, disgusting, broken child with little to give and no intention to take. His chest felt tight and his throat closed up in a sob mirroring the boy before him. Aki raised himself on his knees and took Denji’s cheeks in his spit and precum slick hands.

“I love you.”

“What the _fuck_ , Aki, _stop that, please_ , just let me to go bed…”

“I love you, Denji. I do. I hate it. I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate you and the way you make me feel. I wanna swallow you whole.”

“Stop that, stop, what the fuck…”

Sobs, whimpers, and the boy was shaking. But it was okay, because so was Aki.

“Can I kiss you?”

“ _No_ , Aki, you fucking—”

“Then push me away.”

And he laid his lips on the boy’s. It was tender, slow, and rough with cracked lips. He moaned into it, brought Denji closer by the back of the neck before lowering the other hand to wrap around his cock yet again, slowly stroking the kid to the rhythm of his broken kisses.

“It tastes _awful_ ,” he murmured against Aki’s lips, face twisted in revulsion.

“That’s because you haven’t showered in three days.”

Aki kissed him again, licked his trembling lips open, drank in the moans that rolled out the boy’s tongue as he tasted it over and over again, whimpering soft and pretty against Denji’s mouth.

“I’m gunna… Aki, _Aki_ , I’m gunna—”

“No, hold off, hold on, not yet.”

He squeezed the base of the boy’s cock tightly, kissed his gaping lips as he sobbed with oversensitivity, then gently pushed him to lie on the couch and sat between his legs.

“What are you— _Aki… please…_ ”

“You trust me, right? And if you want me to stop, you’ll fight me?”

Denji didn’t respond, just whimpered as Aki pulled the boy's pants down and off, then leaned down to lick and suck at his balls as his fingers gently squeezed the boy’s thighs.

“Feels good?”

“...”

“Feels good, right?”

“...Yeah…”

“Yeah.”

He kissed Denji’s inner thighs, licked and sucked on the sensitive flesh until the kid twitched, moaned, whined like a broken dog.

Then he gently lifted the boy’s balls, tenderly pushed his leg aside to spread him open, and buried his nose and mouth in between his cheeks.

“ _No, no, no, Aki, Aki—_ ”

Sobbing, shaking, but Aki just kept on sucking and licking at his hole, moved his hands to clasp under Denji’s knees and lifted them up. The kid immediately crossed his legs above him, thighs squeezing Aki’s head as his whole body seized in a terrifying new pleasure, and the man groaned in ecstasy.

“You’re fucking disgusting, that’s _disgusting!_ ”

“Do you hate it?” Aki asked. He spread the kid’s cheeks open with his thumbs, licked over, around, into his pucker, felt it twitch around his tongue.

“I hate it, _I hate it!_ ”

“Do you?”

Another lick, tongue flat and wet against his hole.

“Y-y-ye— _fuck…_ ”

“Do you hate it, Denji? Tell me.”

The kid’s fingers moved to grab at Aki’s hair, but he didn’t pull, nor did he push, he just held the man tight and trembling as Aki made a slobbering mess of his ass, licking him open and fucking him with a swirling tongue.

“Aki, _Aki… Aki…_ ”

Whether it was sobbing or moaning, the man paid little mind to them. Curses and broken pleas fell out the boy’s lips as he continued eating him out, obscene sounds echoing through the moonlit room, occasionally drowned by passing cars and faraway honking, mingled lovingly with the heavy breathing that made it seem Aki had been running a marathon.

He stopped here and there to kiss Denji’s thighs, to profess his love with his lips and his tongue lavishing the boy’s cock and balls with attention until he sobbed some more, pulled Aki’s hair with those beautiful, trembling fingers.

Denji was a devil. Not the Chainsaw Devil, not the one wrapped around the boy's heart. Denji was a curse in Aki’s chest, every moan and shiver pulled the knot in the man’s throat tighter, taut like a pull cord, and Aki was terrified of what would happen to him if this foul little boy revved that string, made him spill his heart raw.

It seemed like it went forever, that body worship, the love he dripped over Denji’s skin and into his insides, the despair—sudden and yet piecemeal, as if death had come early, but it was still cocking the gun.

Aki took advantage of that time, of the terrible tiny window of opportunity.

Because something told him tonight was his last night with Denji, and he wanted the boy to have something to remember him by.

His thumbs pulled the tight little hole open, and he watched it spread, velvet soft and angry red inside, dripping spit on a puddle over the couch. Aki wished he could fit all of himself inside, hide in the depths of Denji’s body.

He would settle, instead.

Aki sat up on his knees and watched the mesmerizing rise and fall of the boy’s chest as he undid his button and pulled his zipper, as he hooked his thumbs beneath pants and underwear and pulled them down only enough for his neglected cock to spring out. He was painfully hard, had been for a _while_ , but that didn’t matter.

None of that mattered. Nothing. Nothing but Denji.

Denji’s soft skin, Denji’s heaving chest, Denji’s drooling gaping lips, Denji’s glazed over eyes, Denji, _Denji, Denji_ …

Aki was a horrible, horrible man.

He spat a good puddle into his palm, spreading it over and around his aching cock, and leaned over the boy again, one hand holding himself steady, one holding himself up.

“Denji.”

“ _Hhuhh…?_ ”

“Breathe.”

Aki pushed in, watching the boy’s eyes turn from removed pleasure to sharp horror as he slowly, carefully slid into Denji’s body, into his heat, into _him_.

“ _Aki— AkiAkiAkiAki—_ ”

“It’s okay.”

“ _Aki, it hurts!_ ”

“It’s okay, it’s only for a bit. It’ll get better. If it doesn’t, I’ll do anything you want.”

That piqued the kid’s interest. He sniffled, hands clasping over Aki’s shoulders.

“Anything?”

“Anything you want. Anything at all. Anything.” Aki kissed his forehead, then his left cheek, his right, the tip of his nose. “Anything at all,” he murmured, then kissed Denji’s lips. “I’ll do anything. But I promise it’ll feel good.”

“You’re hurting me…”

“I’m almost all the way in…”

“It’s _so much_ …”

Aki smiled. He gazed into the boy’s eyes, watched tears streaming down the corners one by one, disappearing down his hairline as he quietly sobbed. But Denji was relaxed, loose, a perfect fit. The pain was just nerves.

“It’s just enough.”

He bottomed out and immediately buried his head in the crook of Denji’s neck, smelling his scent, tasting his sweat.

“Is it done…?”

“I’ll give you a minute before I move…” Aki murmured.

Denji wrapped his legs around Aki’s waist, wrapped his arms around Aki’s neck, and the man thought he could die. He felt tears prickling his eyes, breathed in deep and focused on every point of contact between them, feeling the heat of the boy's body heaving beneath him.

“I’m a virgin, you know?” Aki said, suddenly. “I know I’m gay. I always had. But I’ve never fallen for any guy I’ve ever met.”

“That’s sad.”

“Have you fallen for anyone?”

“Yeah, obviously. Makima,” he said, with the absolute certainty 16 year olds have about love.

Aki raised his head. His hair curtained around his face as he scanned Denji’s expression.

“I love her, too.”

“Well, that’s fucking pathetic, because she’s gonna be mine.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Aki’s lips. Tender and loving.

“That’s okay. You can have her.”

He didn’t need Makima.

He didn’t need anything.

He just needed _this_.

Aki moved his hips slowly backwards, watching Denji’s eyes widen in shock, in fear, and then he pushed back in and watched them lidded with a confused kind of pleasure.

“It’s good?”

“No, I hate it.”

“Hmm…”

He kept moving, back and forth, languid thrusts fast enough to gain a rhythm, but still too slow to build his orgasm. It felt so warm, though, and soft like nothing else. Just perfectly wrapped around him, _Denji_ , wrapped tight and snug around Aki like he belonged there.

“It just feels like I’m taking a shit,” the kid groaned.

“But it’s good, isn’t it?”

“...I guess.”

Aki quickened his thrusts, feeling the slide of tender skin against tender skin over and over, and they both moaned in unisson, soft and long.

“Told you,” he murmured, and kissed Denji deep, wet. Aki fucked the kid fast but gently, felt him clench around his cock and tasted his moans when he hit a particularly deep spot, the obscene slapping of skin drowned by Denji’s whimpering.

Aki pulled away from the kiss and just looked at the boy for a moment, taking it his dizzy, fucked out face while the man pounded him absolutely stupid.

“You look good like this.”

“Shut— _ahhn_ … shut up… _ah, ahh…_ ”

“You sound good, too.”

Denji tried pursing his lips together to stop his noises, but it just revved up the next moan until it broke out in a near scream.

“ _Hush_ , don’t wake up Power,” Aki grinned, but he wasn’t even worried anymore.

He was so taken by this boy writhing underneath him like a broken mess that if the world ended right then and there, he would’ve died peacefully.

“I love you.”

“ _Gross—ahhn_ …”

“I love you, I love you…”

Aki kissed his cheeks, his nose, his lips, fucked him harder, more rude and desperate than he would’ve liked, but tears ran down his cheeks and his chest heaved with sobs, and maybe he was a little desperate, a little broken, a little fucked up in the head, but he was loving Denji all the while, so it was fine.

Just fine.

Even if he didn’t even know what _love_ was anyhow.

“Aki, _Aki! Aki, fuc—ahh, fuck, fuck—ahnn, ahh!_ ”

“Feels good?”

A close mouthed hum left the boy’s lips as he threw his head back.

“I don’t— _ahh fuck, I don’t wann-ahnn… I don’t wanna cum like th-this…_ ”

Hiccups, sobs, tears, and whimpers all mixed together as his body rocked with crying and with Aki’s relentless thrusts. It felt deep, it felt _tight_ , Aki could feel the rim of Denji’s ass clenching so hard around him he thought the kid was going to tear his dick off.

And then Denji moaned. _Moaned_ , properly, loud and desperate from the depths of his gut, twitching the whole time his untouched cock spilled over them both.

Aki pulled Denji into another kiss, licked so deep into his mouth he could feel each moan as it formed. He fucked him harder, faster, _wretched_ , fucked the kid until all Denji could do was sob into his kiss and beg him to _stop,_ _please, it hurts_.

When he finally came, Aki wished he hadn't.

He whimpered into the kiss, cried over Denji’s twisted face, and spilled so deep into the boy he hoped it would never leak out.

And then it was over. All of it.

Aki held him close, buried his face in his neck, felt the boy’s chest heaving and heard his ragged breathing, memorized the way their bodies locked together for as long as he could.

And then Denji finally pushed him off.

“You’re heavy, and I feel _gross_ , get _off!_ ”

Aki squeezed him one last time, before lifting himself up and pulling out. He watched the kid sprawl out, gaze trained on the ceiling, ass clenching over nothing as Aki’s cum spilled out, staining the couch.

Aki sat up on the other side of the couch, looking at the ceiling as well. He didn’t bother to tuck himself back in, let alone clean himself. These little things didn't matter anymore, nothing did.

They sat like that for a long time, thoughts wandering but never stopping on anything, eyes still but unfocused.

“Aki?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you really love me?”

The man sighed.

“I do.”

He didn’t know if he was lying, but children knew less about love than adults did, anyways.

“What about Makima? Do you love her?”

“Hmm… yeah.”

“Then why haven’t you fucked her, yet?”

Aki looked at Denji, taking in the moonlight washed glistening skin as the boy played mindlessly with the pull cord jutting from his chest.

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Why did you fuck me, then?”

“Because I really, really wanted to.”

Denji finally looked at him, but his eyes were unreadable.

“You’re a fucking jackass.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m never letting you do that again.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious, I’ll kill you.”

Aki chuckled. “I figured you would. So… what’s your request?”

“Huh?”

“I said you could ask anything.” He willingly ignored how evidently Denji had enjoyed it. After all, a request from the kid couldn’t be that bad, anyways. Maybe walking naked out in the cold, or eating spoiled meat.

Denji sat up, face twisted in a wince that seemed more frustrated than properly mad.

“Can you kiss me the way you did just now? Once more?”

Aki blinked, eyes widening. “You want me to kiss you?”

“My first kiss involved vomit. Fucking sue me for enjoying when a creepy fag kisses me nicely and it tastes like mint or some shit.”

The man couldn’t help but laugh again, leaning back against the couch. He looked up at the ceiling, then back at Denji.

“Okay,” he answered. And it sounded broken with the sob building in his chest. “Okay, I’ll kiss you. As many times as you want.”

Aki kissed him just once.

It was long, wet, slow, and it felt like a dying kiss. Denji’s legs were wrapped around his waist, and his arms were wrapped around his neck, and his chest heaved against Aki’s. He was absolutely awful at it, teeth clacking and tongue twisting awkwardly, practically drooling into Aki’s mouth the whole while.

They kissed until he learned.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twt @overexciteddrgn <3


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